'I didn't get a "Happy Mother's Day" text until 11:25 a.m.': Entitled Mom cancels daughter's furniture order after being 'snubbed' on Mothers' Day

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    Furniture - Daughter snubbed me on Mother's Day'
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    Organism - 020 r/AmltheA u/Agitated_Secret_5917 3h 1 AITA - Cancelled Couch Order after Daughter Snubbed Me on Mothers Day My daughter (20) just bought her first home with her boyfriend and is very eager to make it perfect and completely renovate as quickly as possible.
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    Font - She wanted to redo her kitchen cabinets, so I offered to 'help' her paint them. My husband and I have also gifted her two 55" TV's. On top of those things, last Friday, while I was at her house painting her cabinets, new appliances were delivered for which she did not pay to have hooked up. I didn't want her to be without appliances any longer so I went ahead and paid $150 for the guys to install the gas stove as well as the dishwasher.
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    Font - That same day, I took her to a furniture store and placed an order for a $1,000 couch, which was supposed to be delivered tomorrow. While we were furniture shopping she asked me what I was doing for Mother's Day (I have two very young children (4 years & 8 months)) and am now married - I was very young when I had her and was never married to her father). I told her "nothing" and that was the end of the conversation. As a side note, that's exactly what we did - no elaborate plan or anythin
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    Font - On Mother's Day, I didn't get a "Happy Mother's Day" text until 11:25 a.m. In that text she said she "had a little something for me" and would drop it off later. About two hours later she texted me and said "we'll be there in 15 minutes." When she arrived, she told me that her boyfriend had recently cleaned out the car and apparently took the gift out of the car and she didn't realize until they pulled into the driveway. She also mentioned that they were just on their way home from pickin
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    Font - I'm frustrated, sad, and very much hurt for a couple of reasons: I don't feel I needed to have a plan in place for my daughter to feel like she should spend Mother's Day with her mother. I don't believe that she did have a "gift." The car was just purchased (brand new) four days prior so I'm not sure what exactly in it needed to be "cleaned."
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    Font - Despite not having a gift, I'm let down by the fact that she couldn't have stayed for lunch or planned on coming back for dinner. I'm extremely taken aback by the fact that my husband and I have gifted her and her boyfriend those TV's, painted their kitchen cabinets, paid for their appliance installation, and ended up spending $1,250 after tax and delivery for a couch. After explaining all of this to her, all she is is defensive and blames me for telling her that we weren't doing anything
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    Font - BurnEmTurnEm 23 hr. ago (S Parta: ipant [2] She called you. She saw you. They may or may not have had a gift. idk She's setting up a new house and has a lot going in. Also you keep counting money and that's gross. Don't spend it and then use it against her YTA
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    Font - sirdee23 16 hr. ago Parta ipant [2] So mom has to extend an invite on mothers day? Really? For the record, a text or drive by isn't typically considered an acceptable level of appreciation on mothers day. Especially with mom going out of her way to attend to her daughter's needs.
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    Font - Careless_League_949 4 21 hr. ago A: Aficionad... Honestly I don't even feel like the daughter dropped the ball. I mean OPs husband literally does nothing for her for Mother's Day, but she's in here having a tantrum about her daughter who actually did wish her a happy Mother's Day and got her a gift?
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    sirdee23 11 hr. ago Parta pant [2] I'm neither an M nor a D so try harder. And yeah, despite having a new family, the mom still goes out of her way to help her eldest. Is she compensating? Sure she is. For the record, i don't think mom is completely innocent in all of this and her reaction was inappropriate. But the fact that her daughter did the bare minimum in return cannot be overlooked. Everyone made choices here. And they all result. as a
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    BurnEmTurnEm⚫ 16 hr. ago Parta: pant [2] She spent the day doing stuff with her new family. You have your own specific expectation of mother's day which is a) not universal and b) pretty on any other day. You just drop by and expect to stay and be fed? You've got a MFing MD complex
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    Font - JadedPin3925. 21 hr. ago Parta pant [1] 100% this about the couch!! Retracting a gift you picked out together is just horribly small of OP and just shows how petty she can be.
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    Font - bgthigfist 21 hr. ago Sounds like OP is frequently gifting her child things and expects her a kissed in return. OP did you raise an entitled brat who just expects this out of you? If so it's your own fault But the tit for tat attempts at control and emotional blackmail is definitely YTA territory.
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    Font - Your daughter is growing up and functioning independently. She may not do things the way you want, and it's healthy for you to not be her too priority all the time. OP could probably benefit from some family counseling to work on her expectations and commination skills
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    Font - gorebelly 21 hr. ago . I'd absolutely run away from you as fast as possible. YTA. Keep counting those cents...but why were there not SECONDS on the timestamp for your mother's day text?? If it was closer to :59 than say :08, we could get even ANGRIER! Edit: Also I'm 50. I felt like I had to add that since one of your replies here shows that you think it is only "entitled younguns" that think you're the AH. Nope. I think most people do.
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    Font - KathyPlusTwins 21 hr. ago Yeah that was my thought. She called, texted and stopped by. She's not a mind reader. Op did you invite her to come back by for dinner? Or did you expect her to intuit that you weren't satisfied with a text, a call and a short visit? Now as far as the couch, painting the cabinets, and paying for the hookup fee, those are things you offered. If you don't want to do it, don't offer. If you give gifts with strings attached don't give them. YTA op.
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    Font - Bluebanana375628. 21 hr. ago She sounds exactly like my mother...who offers to buy things/buy things for you without asking and then tries to use it as guilt leverage against you. I've had to cut my own mother off from expecting money from me for gifts she's given me over the years that I didn't ask for! OP sounds like she expects to buy her daughters love rather than accepting that her oldest child is now living her own life and has other things to think about.
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    Font - mazokos 21 hr. ago Ohh those parents who buys their own kids stuff or helps them, when nobody asks and then reminds them in every step that they bought something for them or helped them - what is wrong with you? YTA OP
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    Font - stannenb 22 hr. ago Professor Emerita [76] On Mother's Day, I didn't get a "Happy Mother's Day" text until 11:25 a.m. INFO: How early would she have had to text you for it not to be considered late?
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    Font - osumba2003 - 21 hr. ago Reminds me of my mother, who would always have secret expectations. And if you didn't meet them, you got the silent treatment.
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    Font - Lava_mama 23 hr. ago Soft YTA - because I understand why you're hurt BUT you weaponized your gift This is why I don't let my mother buy me things. They ALWAYS come with a hidden cost. That and because I doubt your daughter is a mind reader.
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    Font - Worried_River_2318. 22 hr. ago. edited 17 hr. ago Yup when parents who constantly ask if they want or need anything get told no when the asked clearly need it, it's this right here. They would rather just say no then deal with the emotional backlash.
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    Font - davisty69 21 hr. ago My mom always says emphatically not to buy her gifts for holidays, then buys everyone gifts for said holidays. My wife hates this and feels we have to buy her something anyways because of this. It's all dumb.
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    Font - squishpitcher 20 hr. ago Parta pant [2] I think mom might have some jealousy and resentment towards her daughter having a house and being able to get it set up at her young age when clearly, she did not have the same opportunities and lifestyle (and perhaps still doesn't).
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    Font - ImmediateBug2. 22 hr. ago Exactly this. My parents were wealthy, but every time they bought me something it came with MASSIVE strings attached. Nothing from them was a gift - it all cost me dearly. Sorry OP, you're TA. You should have let your daughter know up front that your "gift" to her came with ongoing conditions that need to be continually met or else you will be entitled to take it back when you see fit.

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